There is so much of thirst....... but I'm clueless how do I quench it......
I held some sand in my hand....when I opened my fist there was not a pinch of it left...
Was it an illusion??? Or had I gained something which is now lost....
I thought I was in heaven but it was just another dream...
So many people around me, every moment was so much fun, but when I blinked my eyes there were none...
There were many footsteps along mine on every path that I walked, I could see their shadows but when I turned it was a hallucination....
Time passes by my hurt sulks, I keep up a smile on my face but my heart slowly sulks...
Beautiful colors crowded my eyes but a rain washed away the colors leaving a white trail behind...
A hug full of togetherness is what I craved for.... a hi- bye relationship is what I get in return...
I wish I had never received the beautiful memories which make me greedy of creating more...
Somewhere inside my heart weeps, all the memories seem to be like heaps... heaps of falsity heaps of fickleness.....
I sit on earth...motionless...waiting for the moments to pass...
"There is still a hope!" my heart says.... my mind just asks one question, "Whom are you fooling my dear? YOURSELF or the WORLD?"
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
SOMETIMES
sometimes its just a smile that works, sometimes its a look... those eyes say alot....
sometimes its the innocence... sometimes a beautiful conversation... sometimes just a wink...
sometimes a cup of tea together... sometimes a walk...
sometimes we seek support sometimes we give....
sometimes the silence speaks sometimes we do...sometimes the trust is immense & deep... sometimes the emotions make us weak... hours seem like seconds that go by in a blink...
a small tiff.... a small rift... a small passing moment... brings me near.. to all my dear lovely lovely friends
the breeze seems fresh... a soothing hush... my face's blush... brings happiness to my heart..
the moments spent will never come back... but the memories are here to stay...
the fact that i had a lovely day... comes to my mind and stays... gone are the times when difficulties chased me... this smile is here to stay...
all these moments and many more makes me a human being.... strange are humans and human relations.... but its a pleasure to struggle & understand :)
sometimes its the innocence... sometimes a beautiful conversation... sometimes just a wink...
sometimes a cup of tea together... sometimes a walk...
sometimes we seek support sometimes we give....
sometimes the silence speaks sometimes we do...sometimes the trust is immense & deep... sometimes the emotions make us weak... hours seem like seconds that go by in a blink...
a small tiff.... a small rift... a small passing moment... brings me near.. to all my dear lovely lovely friends
the breeze seems fresh... a soothing hush... my face's blush... brings happiness to my heart..
the moments spent will never come back... but the memories are here to stay...
the fact that i had a lovely day... comes to my mind and stays... gone are the times when difficulties chased me... this smile is here to stay...
all these moments and many more makes me a human being.... strange are humans and human relations.... but its a pleasure to struggle & understand :)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
BALANCE
ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE POSTED SOMETHING ON MY BLOG.... LATELY BEING OUT OF MOOD TO WRITE MAYBE.... NEVERTHELESS THERE'S ALWAYS A NEW BEGINNING....
Today sitting alone and looking back to what has happened till date in the first half of the year, I was being pulled by the pleasant and unpleasant happenings of my life....
There were many beautiful moments which I will cherish for life. Many unhappy phases which seemed to last for eons. I was put into many difficult situations, through which I somehow struggled with the help of my family and friends....... common now nothing can be a cakewalk or else the essence of life will fade. The vigour TO MAKE IT will die. I played my part hoping that whatever I did was the best step that could be taken.
Sometimes we face something in our lives which shatters us completely. Yet at the end of it we realize that it was necessary for us to face it or else we wouldn't have been able to grow into a stronger person.
However true the above lines must be, it is difficult and almost next to impossible to understand them when we are in a tough situation. But do we notice? God always gives us a mix, a BALANCE of happy and unhappy events. And more often than not those unhappy events are the reasons to make us deserving candidates of happy events. OK that is becoming quite complicated. I would simplify.
See when a child grows he doesn't know how it feels when he would jump off a sofa and get hurt.... so he tries it...gets hurt and learns that ''whenever we jump off from a higher point we get hurt''.... this would save him from attempting a jump off the terrace in future {though there are some maniacs who attempt suicides... probably they didn't learn their lessons well ;) }
In a similar manner since childhood we have been learning small and big lessons from mistakes (some being our own and some made by others). Unless we have these hurtful and unhappy experiences neither would we value nor have any good and successful moments in our lives.
Yet the child in our heart cries and asks, "Do I have to go through this?"
The only answer we get from our mature mind is "Hey! do you have an option?"
HEART: Not really...
MIND: Then why not face it strongly...
HEART: Oh yeah! as if its so easy....
MIND: But GOD never promised you that life would be easy. You tried crying over it and handling it. It didn't really work. Now try my 'BRAINY WAY' by being strong and smiling through your tough situations maybe this will work......
HEART: (gulp) OK will try :)
Very often the solutions to many of our situations lies in going the way around... as in using the path we were never prepared to use... And then there is no harm in trying something new. Who knows maybe this works for us better.
The key lies in having a balance of decisions taken through heart and head....
The key lies in knowing that there will always be a balance of good and bad things in life.... after every horrible incident, something very beautiful is waiting for you... And the amount of time you take to come out of that incident will be only taking the forthcoming happiness away from you...
THINK ABOUT IT!
Today sitting alone and looking back to what has happened till date in the first half of the year, I was being pulled by the pleasant and unpleasant happenings of my life....
There were many beautiful moments which I will cherish for life. Many unhappy phases which seemed to last for eons. I was put into many difficult situations, through which I somehow struggled with the help of my family and friends....... common now nothing can be a cakewalk or else the essence of life will fade. The vigour TO MAKE IT will die. I played my part hoping that whatever I did was the best step that could be taken.
Sometimes we face something in our lives which shatters us completely. Yet at the end of it we realize that it was necessary for us to face it or else we wouldn't have been able to grow into a stronger person.
However true the above lines must be, it is difficult and almost next to impossible to understand them when we are in a tough situation. But do we notice? God always gives us a mix, a BALANCE of happy and unhappy events. And more often than not those unhappy events are the reasons to make us deserving candidates of happy events. OK that is becoming quite complicated. I would simplify.
See when a child grows he doesn't know how it feels when he would jump off a sofa and get hurt.... so he tries it...gets hurt and learns that ''whenever we jump off from a higher point we get hurt''.... this would save him from attempting a jump off the terrace in future {though there are some maniacs who attempt suicides... probably they didn't learn their lessons well ;) }
In a similar manner since childhood we have been learning small and big lessons from mistakes (some being our own and some made by others). Unless we have these hurtful and unhappy experiences neither would we value nor have any good and successful moments in our lives.
Yet the child in our heart cries and asks, "Do I have to go through this?"
The only answer we get from our mature mind is "Hey! do you have an option?"
HEART: Not really...
MIND: Then why not face it strongly...
HEART: Oh yeah! as if its so easy....
MIND: But GOD never promised you that life would be easy. You tried crying over it and handling it. It didn't really work. Now try my 'BRAINY WAY' by being strong and smiling through your tough situations maybe this will work......
HEART: (gulp) OK will try :)
Very often the solutions to many of our situations lies in going the way around... as in using the path we were never prepared to use... And then there is no harm in trying something new. Who knows maybe this works for us better.
The key lies in having a balance of decisions taken through heart and head....
The key lies in knowing that there will always be a balance of good and bad things in life.... after every horrible incident, something very beautiful is waiting for you... And the amount of time you take to come out of that incident will be only taking the forthcoming happiness away from you...
THINK ABOUT IT!
Friday, March 5, 2010
PHILOSOPHICAL
In life we always come across two pathways... The first path is the ''moral'' one & the other is ''immoral''.... However cliched this may sound, making a choice every time is altogether a unique experience...
The immoral path is easy to choose, satisfies our short term desires, but doesn't guarantee long term success and happiness. On the other hand the moral path is difficult to walk on, would seem to bring pains but is the ultimate one.
Someone had once told me whenever we do something wrong or choose the insincere way, God always gives us an option.... It is so true. He slowly whispers that you are doing ''wrong''... Our heart asks us again & again 'Am I doing the right thing?' But we just ignore the call of our conscience for short term pleasures, we allow ourselves to be surrendered to the moment's temptation and forget about everything and everybody else. But our inner voice, our intuition would keep pinching us and warning us about the unseen pitfalls that this path would bring. We wouldn't really have the peace of mind to have a sound sleep.
On the other hand if we gather the courage to choose a difficult but right path, we might face many obstacles but at the same time God gives us the ability to face everything. We would continuously feel God's presence and approval. The peace of mind will keep a smile on our face even in the toughest situation. The smile on our face would actually be the smile of our conscience. We would love ourselves and therefore, love the people around us too.
Because to give love to anybody else we first need to love ourselves to the fullest.
We lie about different things to 'n' number of people in our lives but the day we lie to ourselves that is the end of God's existence in our souls.
The beauty of a person lies in this clear conscience... So the next time when any unknown & unseen person asks you how do you look or you judge yourself don't say anything on the basis of what you see in the mirror... judge yourself on the basis of the mirror of your soul; ask yourself 'Have I always taken the right path?' , 'Is my mind at peace?' , 'Do i actually get a sound sleep?'
I'm asking these questions to myself. I guess my looks are AVERAGE! (Hope the answer would only improve as time passes by)
:)
The immoral path is easy to choose, satisfies our short term desires, but doesn't guarantee long term success and happiness. On the other hand the moral path is difficult to walk on, would seem to bring pains but is the ultimate one.
Someone had once told me whenever we do something wrong or choose the insincere way, God always gives us an option.... It is so true. He slowly whispers that you are doing ''wrong''... Our heart asks us again & again 'Am I doing the right thing?' But we just ignore the call of our conscience for short term pleasures, we allow ourselves to be surrendered to the moment's temptation and forget about everything and everybody else. But our inner voice, our intuition would keep pinching us and warning us about the unseen pitfalls that this path would bring. We wouldn't really have the peace of mind to have a sound sleep.
On the other hand if we gather the courage to choose a difficult but right path, we might face many obstacles but at the same time God gives us the ability to face everything. We would continuously feel God's presence and approval. The peace of mind will keep a smile on our face even in the toughest situation. The smile on our face would actually be the smile of our conscience. We would love ourselves and therefore, love the people around us too.
Because to give love to anybody else we first need to love ourselves to the fullest.
We lie about different things to 'n' number of people in our lives but the day we lie to ourselves that is the end of God's existence in our souls.
The beauty of a person lies in this clear conscience... So the next time when any unknown & unseen person asks you how do you look or you judge yourself don't say anything on the basis of what you see in the mirror... judge yourself on the basis of the mirror of your soul; ask yourself 'Have I always taken the right path?' , 'Is my mind at peace?' , 'Do i actually get a sound sleep?'
I'm asking these questions to myself. I guess my looks are AVERAGE! (Hope the answer would only improve as time passes by)
:)
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
EMOTIONS OF A BRIDE
Today when I went , as a routine, to my french classes I saw the place had a completely unique look for 'the day'. The usual dull GD Somani School was today beautifully decorated for a wedding. Lavish decorations, welcoming red carpets, flowers all over, lots of people gathered, dressed beautifully....there was happiness in the air....
Certain things told me it was a Marwari wedding (ummmm don't ask me the reasons)
I saw the bride & the groom. The varmala rasm was on. There was loads of shyness in the eyes of the bride. She was looking as gorgeous as anyother woman would look on her wedding day, the D day of her life... elegant and graceful.
The groom (as everybody knows Maru guys don't really look that smart) as expected was just ok looking... ok sorry for the simple & brutal truth.
I love weddings and so kept thinking for a while of the various kinds of emotions that the bride must be experiencing. In a few hours she will leave her own house. the house she was born & brought up in, where she has spent her beautiful 20-25 years. The house where she could, even with her eyes shut, find the stuff she wanted. Everything was so damn 'HERS'. And then suddenly today she will have to leave behind everyone & everything. Yes, there is lots of pain inside her heart for the same reason but as usual there is another side to this coin too. She is happy. Amazingly happy. She had waited to belong to someone since she was a small child. The prince charming she had always dreamed about. She will have someone who will be so concerned about her, will love her till his last breath. She will dedicate the rest of her life to him & he will to her.......
The bride has a different kind of glow on her face. She is glowing out of happiness. Blushing all the while. Another emotion she is struggling with is 'anxiety'. Loads of anxiety. She will have to go to an entirely new place amongst entirely new people. She doesn't know how her in-laws will turn out to be. Will they be able to give her the same affection her family gave? Will she be able to do the same with them? Their tastes, their lifestyle, their habits, everything will be so different from her parents' house. Whoa! ''her house'' has already become ''her parents' house''. My mother says girls are meant to go to the 'other house' because God has made women so emotionally powerful that she has the capacity to handle two families & keep them together. A woman alone has the ability to, twice in her life, adapt to different lifestyles. First when she is born & second when she marries and goes to her husband's house. This is the last time probably that it is being called her husband's house. From tomorrow onwards it will be 'her house', 'her family'..... She will win over everyone's heart & tie everybody with her bond of love. Then there is a fear at the back of her mind: Has she chosen the right life partner???? only time will tell....
There is a new feeling called ''love'' inside her which overpowers all her fears & anxieties. And she moves one step forward in her life.......
Certain things told me it was a Marwari wedding (ummmm don't ask me the reasons)
I saw the bride & the groom. The varmala rasm was on. There was loads of shyness in the eyes of the bride. She was looking as gorgeous as anyother woman would look on her wedding day, the D day of her life... elegant and graceful.
The groom (as everybody knows Maru guys don't really look that smart) as expected was just ok looking... ok sorry for the simple & brutal truth.
I love weddings and so kept thinking for a while of the various kinds of emotions that the bride must be experiencing. In a few hours she will leave her own house. the house she was born & brought up in, where she has spent her beautiful 20-25 years. The house where she could, even with her eyes shut, find the stuff she wanted. Everything was so damn 'HERS'. And then suddenly today she will have to leave behind everyone & everything. Yes, there is lots of pain inside her heart for the same reason but as usual there is another side to this coin too. She is happy. Amazingly happy. She had waited to belong to someone since she was a small child. The prince charming she had always dreamed about. She will have someone who will be so concerned about her, will love her till his last breath. She will dedicate the rest of her life to him & he will to her.......
The bride has a different kind of glow on her face. She is glowing out of happiness. Blushing all the while. Another emotion she is struggling with is 'anxiety'. Loads of anxiety. She will have to go to an entirely new place amongst entirely new people. She doesn't know how her in-laws will turn out to be. Will they be able to give her the same affection her family gave? Will she be able to do the same with them? Their tastes, their lifestyle, their habits, everything will be so different from her parents' house. Whoa! ''her house'' has already become ''her parents' house''. My mother says girls are meant to go to the 'other house' because God has made women so emotionally powerful that she has the capacity to handle two families & keep them together. A woman alone has the ability to, twice in her life, adapt to different lifestyles. First when she is born & second when she marries and goes to her husband's house. This is the last time probably that it is being called her husband's house. From tomorrow onwards it will be 'her house', 'her family'..... She will win over everyone's heart & tie everybody with her bond of love. Then there is a fear at the back of her mind: Has she chosen the right life partner???? only time will tell....
There is a new feeling called ''love'' inside her which overpowers all her fears & anxieties. And she moves one step forward in her life.......
Sunday, December 6, 2009
JUST WHEN....
Just when I think life is going smooth without any speed breakers, my belief is let down
Just when I think I have achieved what I want, the achievement slips out of my hands
Just when I am about to agree to facts, a signboard tells me 'Facts have changed'
Just when I gather courage, I am discouraged by life's moves
Just when I take the right path, I am forced to take a U-turn
Just when life starts looking beautiful, the painting goes off color
Just when I start enjoying my dream world, I am shaken by the brutal truth of life
Just when I am clear in my mind, confusion sinks in
Just when I reach my comfort zone, a shift takes place
Just when I intend to ask questions to life, a thought crosses my mind and says 'Who do you think will answer?'
Just when I am about to say a yes, life says no
Just when I think my life is perfect, it just seems more IMPERFECT than ever before........
Just when I think I have achieved what I want, the achievement slips out of my hands
Just when I am about to agree to facts, a signboard tells me 'Facts have changed'
Just when I gather courage, I am discouraged by life's moves
Just when I take the right path, I am forced to take a U-turn
Just when life starts looking beautiful, the painting goes off color
Just when I start enjoying my dream world, I am shaken by the brutal truth of life
Just when I am clear in my mind, confusion sinks in
Just when I reach my comfort zone, a shift takes place
Just when I intend to ask questions to life, a thought crosses my mind and says 'Who do you think will answer?'
Just when I am about to say a yes, life says no
Just when I think my life is perfect, it just seems more IMPERFECT than ever before........
Saturday, November 14, 2009
NOTHING
NOTHINGNESS.... sometimes our life is full of nothings, full of emptiness, full of vacuum.... The nihility can be quite painful and yet at the same time this phase (yes its just a phase of our life) can teach us to struggle out of the most difficult times..... An individual can make the best or the worst out of it....kind of make-it-or-break-it situation....
A girl was once very focused, determined & clear in her mind... She knew what it was that she had to do, in which direction she will take her life. Yes, she was the one who was giving directions to life and it was never the other way round. She was her own BOSS. She always used to put in her best efforts at whatever challenge she had in front of her. Always doing things in the right way, never choosing the wrong path. The wrong ways and path were non-existent in her life. Remember she chose directions in which her life has to head.... Everything was going smooth when suddenly (I think life had had enough of her orders) life decided to toss the game the other way round.... Yes, this time LIFE was the boss... She had to face a failure and this was unbearable for a person who had never ever faced one. She was shattered at life's brutal step against her and yes NOTHINGNESS seeped in her (and it seemed it would stay for a long time)
She finally had to face the phase she was running away from for years. For hours she used to analyse her state of mind and conclude nothing, just nothing. Talking to herself she said ''I am NOTHING. My existence means nothing to this world. Nothing at all. Yet then I see myself and say that God wouldn't have created me just like that. There must be some reason, a purpose, an aim, a goal, an opportunity not yet explored. WHY don't I already have it clearly written on my hand what exactly I am meant to do? But then if it was so easy what is the sense? If I wont face any hardships how will I realise what finally WINNING means. If we don't have sorrows in our lives, we won't understand what HAPPINESS exactly feels like, it would be just another thing. And her mind kept switching from a learned philosopher to a scared child searching an answer.... She wasn't being able to make the best use of her phase of nothingness...... TO BE CONTD.....
A girl was once very focused, determined & clear in her mind... She knew what it was that she had to do, in which direction she will take her life. Yes, she was the one who was giving directions to life and it was never the other way round. She was her own BOSS. She always used to put in her best efforts at whatever challenge she had in front of her. Always doing things in the right way, never choosing the wrong path. The wrong ways and path were non-existent in her life. Remember she chose directions in which her life has to head.... Everything was going smooth when suddenly (I think life had had enough of her orders) life decided to toss the game the other way round.... Yes, this time LIFE was the boss... She had to face a failure and this was unbearable for a person who had never ever faced one. She was shattered at life's brutal step against her and yes NOTHINGNESS seeped in her (and it seemed it would stay for a long time)
She finally had to face the phase she was running away from for years. For hours she used to analyse her state of mind and conclude nothing, just nothing. Talking to herself she said ''I am NOTHING. My existence means nothing to this world. Nothing at all. Yet then I see myself and say that God wouldn't have created me just like that. There must be some reason, a purpose, an aim, a goal, an opportunity not yet explored. WHY don't I already have it clearly written on my hand what exactly I am meant to do? But then if it was so easy what is the sense? If I wont face any hardships how will I realise what finally WINNING means. If we don't have sorrows in our lives, we won't understand what HAPPINESS exactly feels like, it would be just another thing. And her mind kept switching from a learned philosopher to a scared child searching an answer.... She wasn't being able to make the best use of her phase of nothingness...... TO BE CONTD.....
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